Don't bother reading

SPOILER NOTIFICATION: *WHINE ALERT*

It is 13:03 pm. I’ve been hitting snooze on my “Get A Life” alarm since 8 am this sunny Saturday. But the nightmare they call procrastination is too momentarily comforting to let go off. I’m running dangerously low on "passion", "inspiration" and "commitment". However, I have an abundance of inconsequential writing that I need to get done:

• There’s that thing for those people
• That other thing for those other people
• Oh, and one more thing for one more person.

What and who are of no consequence to you because they are really of no consequence to me.

I, however, am of consequence to them. Whether their website is reading better than it used to, will depend on how much sunshine I’m able to convert into mental energy today. Whether that frustrated middle-aged executive (who’s picking his nose at 10 am on Tuesday) will have one more piece of garbage to play wastepaper-basketball with, will depend on how protein-rich my lunch is now. And whether that Marketing Executive at a certain telecommunications solution provider will have one more ethically questionable EDM to pass around, will depend on how much water my body absorbs in the next few hours.

That's a lot of responsibility, innit. Not. So much for trying to be positive. Guess it's better luck next whinny-post-time.

You are welcome to feel sorry for me.

Chicken Little

911

Dear Children,

I understand that the both of you are my parents. And that's why it's terribly important that you grow up.

No, I'm not tired because I sleep with my windows closed and the ac turned off. I'm not tired because I don't have enough iron jumping my arteries. I'm not tired because I sleep in the midst of a bed full of confusion.

I am tired because you leave me uninspired. I'm tired of not being at the center of attention. I'm tired of trying to understand how hard life is for the both of you. And I'm tired of not being understood in return. I'm tired of acting carefully to spare the both of you arguments. I'm tired of living my life to make up for your individual shortcomings - one's lack of respect and understanding, and the other's acting out as a result of not being respected or understood. When will you understand that throwing blame is the easiest way out and that it's a bad example to set for your children?

Why have I rarely asked for help and guidance? Because the both of you are too full of your own issues. But I need it now. And I'm too ashamed to tell you that I'm feeling a little lost. So I'm telling everybody else instead. Let the world know that I'm jealous, greedy, needy and insecure. Because I'm sure while most may think I'm being unnecessarily childish, somebody out there will understand.

Maybe I'm acting out. But I'm not a mind reader. And if you do appreciate me, consider talking about that once in a while, instead of how toast always manages to slip from my fingers or how I sleep with all the lights on.

Here's where I'm comparing -
I may not have a million friends, or know how to chat up random strangers. I may not have certificates to prove I've completed things, and I've let one too many of my past times go. I may not dress to kill or know to throw a party.
But in comparison, how much have you encourgaed me with praise and appreciation? Aren't you the one's who have told me that money is hard to come by?

So please stop confusing my with your contradictions.

I'm quite sure you're aware of how terribly grateful I am for everything the two of you have given me. Because if I wasn't, I would have been a much harder child to deal with. We all know you had it easy with me. I've given you very little grief to date.

But I think I deserve a little more attention. Don't you? Because I'm walking a thin line here. And if there's one thing the both of you are right about, it's that I wasn't gifted with balance.

Feeling warm in the ears? Welcome to adulthood.

love Love

I love love. It makes the world yellow.
I miss love. I wished it away.
I had Love. He made my world yellow.
I wish Love, that I could stay.

Sea of Rain

watch out

WallFlowers have eyes.
WallFlowers have ears.
WallFlowers have mouths.

I live in my own shadow

There's a thin thin line between my shadow and my soul -
the part of me that follows and the part that makes me whole.
It's a thin thin line that keeps my past at bay
in the hope that I'll be better with the coming of the day.
For when the glory falls behind me, my shadow leads me on
reminding me I've done something to earn a little scorn.
And when I have been humbled and the glory becomes my guide
My shadow falls behind me and reminds me I've been tried.
But at that sacred hour when the glory is above my soul,
This shadow grows to nothing, and I'm rid of it's toll.
The hour may not vist plenty, but it's sure to come around
In it's respite I enjoy oblivion of what has and to be done.
It's one of those hours I now long for, when my conscience feels no pain
And I'm granted an hour of freedom to live now with no loss or gain.