911

Dear Children,

I understand that the both of you are my parents. And that's why it's terribly important that you grow up.

No, I'm not tired because I sleep with my windows closed and the ac turned off. I'm not tired because I don't have enough iron jumping my arteries. I'm not tired because I sleep in the midst of a bed full of confusion.

I am tired because you leave me uninspired. I'm tired of not being at the center of attention. I'm tired of trying to understand how hard life is for the both of you. And I'm tired of not being understood in return. I'm tired of acting carefully to spare the both of you arguments. I'm tired of living my life to make up for your individual shortcomings - one's lack of respect and understanding, and the other's acting out as a result of not being respected or understood. When will you understand that throwing blame is the easiest way out and that it's a bad example to set for your children?

Why have I rarely asked for help and guidance? Because the both of you are too full of your own issues. But I need it now. And I'm too ashamed to tell you that I'm feeling a little lost. So I'm telling everybody else instead. Let the world know that I'm jealous, greedy, needy and insecure. Because I'm sure while most may think I'm being unnecessarily childish, somebody out there will understand.

Maybe I'm acting out. But I'm not a mind reader. And if you do appreciate me, consider talking about that once in a while, instead of how toast always manages to slip from my fingers or how I sleep with all the lights on.

Here's where I'm comparing -
I may not have a million friends, or know how to chat up random strangers. I may not have certificates to prove I've completed things, and I've let one too many of my past times go. I may not dress to kill or know to throw a party.
But in comparison, how much have you encourgaed me with praise and appreciation? Aren't you the one's who have told me that money is hard to come by?

So please stop confusing my with your contradictions.

I'm quite sure you're aware of how terribly grateful I am for everything the two of you have given me. Because if I wasn't, I would have been a much harder child to deal with. We all know you had it easy with me. I've given you very little grief to date.

But I think I deserve a little more attention. Don't you? Because I'm walking a thin line here. And if there's one thing the both of you are right about, it's that I wasn't gifted with balance.

Feeling warm in the ears? Welcome to adulthood.

love Love

I love love. It makes the world yellow.
I miss love. I wished it away.
I had Love. He made my world yellow.
I wish Love, that I could stay.